Some of us have had the occasional privilege of coming across the weirdest and funniest church names in the world! I could argue that most of those names probably originate from Nigeria but I haven’t got any statistics to back me up on that.
Without much ado, let me take you on a dizzying tour of some of the most outrageous church names in the world. Please don’t forget to vote for your favourite name at the end of the post. Prepare to laugh your heads off! It’s just mind-boggling to think that anyone would take these names seriously. In no particular order:
ANGELS ON FIRE CHAPEL OF PEACE (Someone needs to put out those fires quick!)
HEALING HAS BEGUN MINISTRIES (When? What time? Did I miss it?)
BY FIRE BY FIRE MINISTRIES (Someone please call the fire service!)
JEHOVAH SHARP SHARP (For those who don’t like to wait!)
DAVID KILLED GOLIATH MINISTRIES (…err? No comments!)
SATAN IN TROUBLE MINISTRIES (Last I checked he too is aware!)
HIGH TENSION MINISTRIES (Beware of electrocution!)
CHUKWUDI & SON EVANGELICAL MINISTRY (Son, I’d like you to join the family business!)
POWER PASS POWER CHURCH OF THE MOUNTAIN MINISTRIES (Really?)
DEVIL GO HEAR AM MINISTRIES (Hahaha! What’s it with the devil?)
GUIDED MISSILES CHURCH (Gaddafi beware!)
LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD (But Pastor I forgot to bring my goggles and lab coat!)
GO AND TELL AHAB THAT ELIJAH IS HERE MINISTRIES (What if I don’t have any friends called Elijah or Ahab!)
TRIGGER HAPPY MINISTRIES (These pastors really enjoying shooting sha!)
EL-SHADDAI MUST NOT DIE (Last I checked, God is immortal right?)
GIVERS NEVER LACK MINISTRIES (Yeah, givers to my ministry!)
FIST OF FURY CHURCH (Jesus and Bruce Lee fend off the demons with kung fu!)
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MINISTRIES (Yeah mate, I’m running from your church!)
THE YOKE MUST BROKE MINISTRIES (Dude…please do your english teacher proud!)
FACE TO FACE MINISTRIES (What other type was there? Over the phone ministries?)
I’m sure most of you will agree with me that these ministry names are hilarious. However, on closer inspection, it is rather worrying to observe the trend in which the gospel is being prostituted in developing nations particularly. Whilst I’m in no way condemning or judging any of these ministries, I am trying to point out the fact that some are selling hope to people in desperate need of it. They have turned His Father’s house into a den of robbers and that is regrettably turning true seekers away from Christ. Apart from the fact that many ‘ministries’ in Nigeria are just business ventures, some are in the habit of spending more time focused on fighting the devil rather than walking with God. There’s something disturbing about constantly firing at spiritual enemies and routing the devil rather than resting on Christ’s love and drawing from His victory on the cross.
Anyways, back to the fun bit! Which was your favourite name? Please vote for yours below.